Strategies to curb my phone addiction.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve gotten into the habit of staying in bed with my phone and scrolling through social media for hours after waking up.
It’s the same every day; I wake up and reaching for my phone to watch TikToks, losing track of time. I’m not proud of it, but I’m treating my phone like a pacifier. It’s become a means of comfort for when the day begins. This bad habit has had a noticeable effect on my mood and my productivity.
Looking at what other people are doing and what’s happening in the world only makes me feel overwhelmed and, at the same time, depleted as I consume the limited attention I could use to accomplish my daily priority. But just like an addict, I found myself using my phone even more, to distract myself from the shame of “being a failure,” which only feeds my guilt and furthers my procrastination. It’s a vicious cycle.
Shame could destroy your soul if you let it.
The mornings feel like I have all the time in the world, plus I have the luxury to choose when I want to get out of bed. I’ve never wanted to get out of bed any less than at 7 am. The good news is I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, and that’s great when it’s 3 pm on a Saturday, but terrible during the week.
My question is, how do I get out of bed in the morning without wasting away at my phone?
Thus the mission began to find a way to get me out of bed without guilt or motivation. After much experimentation, I found it.
Laziness, just like failure or disappointment, is a feeling, not reality.
Whenever I’d see myself mentally getting to the bad place, I remind myself that I’m not lazy. Laziness doesn’t exist. If laziness is the ability to sit back, relax and do nothing, then I’ve peaked in what it means to be a successful human. The time I spend with myself is not time wasted.
The only way to stop feeling lazy is to think about my attitude toward getting stuff done. Life is hard enough; why put me through suffering?
Sarah Perry writes about finding and elaborating on your “centers,” which might be activities, virtues, places, people, memories, flavours or things that feel most like reflections of your own self.
If you ever find yourself wondering why you’re not achieving the results you want, odds are it has nothing to do with your effort, motivation or willpower. And it has everything to do with you NOT being aligned with who you are; therefore, you are not taking the right actions that will get you closer to where you want to be.
By aligning your actions to your values, you are using your emotions to your advantage. When you do what is right for you, you feel good about yourself and this, in turn, activates the ‘do more’ response from our mind, which allows us to accomplish our goals with little or no willpower or effort. Easier to say, but it works!
Even though I complain about how much time I’m wasting looking at my phone screen and how stressful it is, I know that giving up using my phone will not solve anything.
Instead of feeling guilty about it, I elaborate on my centers by setting small daily promises like:
- When I grab my phone in the morning, I will open the Insight Timer app to meditate for at least 5 minutes. I learned that my body needs some time to adjust to being awake, feeling present before indulging in what’s happening in the world.
- I visualize my next three moves, channelling the feeling I want to get from getting out of bed. No day is ever perfectly smooth, but it can be beneficial.
- Lastly, I’m setting a rigid boundary: “I have to get out of bed before 9:30 am.” I allow myself to indulge in Social Media until it’s time to get out of bed.
These challenges are small, tangible things I’ve put in place to make me feel like I’m in control. And better yet, they are working!
Another strategy I found useful is to create accountability by setting an early meeting. I follow a person on TikTok who deals with depression, and they go live every morning at 8 am to have a reason not to go back to bed. Being accountable to someone or people online can be a great motivator if that’s something you value.
What strategies have you experimented with?
P.S. There may be other possible reasons we stay in bed for hours, like depression, chronic fatigue, anemia, and other health or sleep issues. If you suspect it’s a physical or mental health problem, then you’re probably right. If you find yourself feeling a lot of anxiety or tiredness in the morning for an extended period, please see a doctor or therapist to address the root cause.
